booo bush!

so i heard that Bush is probably going to be making online poker illegal now.... its already passed Congress now theyre just waiting on Bush and should be done within the next 2 weeks. WHAT THE HELL! what is wrong with our government? there is no reason that online poker should be illegal. some people make a living off that shit. but some stupid senator claimed that terroists are using online poker sites to launder money.... please! ridiculous. they just want to infiltrate as much of our privacy as possible. ughhh. its so dumb.

i hate our government.

anyway fall break is nice. i love sleeping in. tomorrow im going up to madison for my cousin's baby shower. my cousins are pretty fun so it should be a good time.

im tired of people trying to tell me what to do and how to solve my "problems."  if i think i have problems then i'll deal with them myself. i really dont enjoy people trying to tell me what i should do or what i need to do when i dont ask for anyone's opinions.  matt and i also got in a stupid fight yesterday because he thinks im a bitch to him and he says that if i start treating him nicely then he'll return it. thats total bullshit. he's the one that is constantly insulting me and being an asshole to me and making me feel like shit. i joke around with him about stupid things that i dont really believe are true, but he's too sensitive and cant handle joking so then he comes back with these personal attacks against me and its not just "giving me shit," its really insulting. and lately ive had to hear it ALL THE TIME. which i dont even joke around with him nearly that much. but im the one being a bitch. and i have to start treating him nicely..... riiiiight.

i think the problem is that he has HUGE issues with me dating bill. he wont admit it but im pretty sure thats what it is. and im really sick of hearing about it all the time and always being ridiculed for everything i do.

ok.... nice to get that off my chest.

now im gonna go play some online poker....

screw you bush.

BLAH... thats how i feel

wow its been so long... months... just lost interest for a while. besides i was too busy over the summer working my ass off in the day and partying my ass off in the night. back at school now and have already had plenty of drama to deal with. stupid cheerleaders. not to mention TONS of drama at home. i hate it. i think that drama has mostly subsided. but thats only because im back at school and dont have to be around it anymore. which im thankful for.

i really dont spend very much time at school, which is sad.

one, because my boyfriend is officially banned from campus and if i want to spend any time here he gets upset and makes a huge deal out of it. two, i really dont have anyone to hang out with here, besides matt. and he's a little hard to handle all day every day. my new roommate is REALLY nice and cool, but she's very busy all the time.

i'm depressed.

i dont know why.

just am. could be because i was expecting more of a change of environment once i came back, because i was so sick of being around home. and around them. and now... its hardly a change at all. i kind of need change once in a while. ive come to rely on it.

i no longer have my old escape to turn to anymore when im depressed.

so what do i do...?

Currently Listening "Creedence Clearwater Revival - Chronicle, Vol. 1: The 20 Greatest Hits" By Creedence Clearwater Revival see related

last night was lots of fun... it was jon's birthday and ellie was having a bonfire party at her house, and i realized how much i miss hanging out with ellie and jon and everyone. they are two of my favorite people ever. whats sad is that ellie is gonna be living in bloomington this summer and jon is moving there at the end of may.tragedy! there will have to be many trips out there.

mark and kiley showed up, pretty late though and didnt stay for very long at all -big surprise?- kiley was tired and didnt feel good and doesnt like bonfires. ugh. i felt bad because mark and jon are so close, or at least used to be, and he cant even stay longer than 20 mins at his best friend's birthday party. and all because kiley is whiny and has to have her way. its just sad. i find myself ranting about kiley a lot lately. she does a lot of things that make me angry and i hate the way she has so much control over the two people that i love and they don't even realize it. another reason why i love jon and ellie so much- they see and understand what im talking about. im just concerned for mark.

anyway, enough ranting for the day i think. i will say that i have been in much better moods lately, and i can probably credit that to the weather. its been warm and glorious outside :) this is why i love summer so much. the sun makes me feel happy :)

school is winding down to the last couple weeks, which rocks. aside from all the shit that gets crammed into the last couple weeks of classes. my slacking chose a bad time to take control over me. ugh. so much stuff to do and no motivation to do it.

So stand by me
As we immolate
We can burn in each other's arms

frank's coming to visit me today, im excited :) he just moved back up here from florida! and i think he's going to be doing a lot better, because he has a job and is getting a better job soon, and he's going to go back to school. it's good because he needs to stay out of trouble! he's such a good guy too, just gone through a lot of shit.

ive been a lot better lately. drama with kiley has subsided... for now. i dont think she can go too long without creating some kind of drama though. i think she just likes the attention. its so annoying. there's times when i consider just breaking up with bill and removing myself from the situation. that way i dont have to deal with it, and kiley will be happier so both bill and mark wont have to deal with her freaking out quite as much. and then she could have all the bill time she wants. because apparently i dont need time with him as much as she does.

she's so selfish.... i just wish bill and mark didnt let her get away with being a selfish bitch all the time and give her everything she wants.

dane cook was friggin awesome!! he is hilarious and not to mention very hot. we were pretty close too, it was sweet. there was lots of people there that i knew too, but i didnt see very many of them. i know leach got front row tickets! *lucky bitch*

we played poker last night at marks... i hadnt played in a long time, it was fun. i almost won too, it came down to me and blake, and i was almost out of chips but i was kicking his ass and coming back. but eventually one hand i just got really unlucky and he beat me. oh well! it was fun. and blake is really cool by the way : )

hopefully its not dreadfully boring and slow at work today. there's good and bad about working tonight. bad is that im the 2, which usually doesnt get sat that much, being in smoking. but who knows. the good is that im closing, which should help me make a little more money, im closing with joe, who is just about my favorite person ever to work with, AND i finally get to work with mark. yay!